30 Letters in 30 Days: Day 17 - Someone From My Childhood

junior year

Amanda,
My wild child! I'm sitting here trying to think exactly how far back we go. The furthest memory I have is when we were around 7 or 8 years old. I'm sure we go back further than that but neither one of us remember. I can't even imagine my childhood without you in it. We had great times. Sleep overs at my aunt's house playing pranks on the girls who fell asleep first to horse back riding at Denny and Dustin's, thorough out high school until now I can honestly say that you have been by my side through it all. Although now we talk every once in awhile you are one of the few people that when we do go a long period of time without seeing each other we pick right up where we left off. Thank you for all the laughs, tears and great memories that we created together. I wouldn't have wanted to share them with anyone else but you.

Love you always no matter what!
Britnie

30 Letters in 30 Days: Day 15 - The Person I Miss the Most

Jenn Jenn,
My beautiful best friend in the entire world ... oh how I miss you. I probably tell you this at least 5 times a week. I know you know how much I value our friendship and because of that it makes it so hard not to miss you since you're all the way in Maine. I just miss being able to have that one person that I fully trust by my side, physically. I told you before I feel like half of me was taken away when you moved. Over time the pain of missing you has become more manageable, but I still miss you like crazy. All the crazy times we were able to share together are just memories. Now we share our crazy times that we have apart from each other on our Sunday phone dates. We really need to try and make sure at least once a year either you come down here or I go up there. I can;t stand not being able to spend quality time with you to make more memories. I can;t wait until school is over for Cory so you guys can move down here and I can have my best friend/sister by my side again.

Missing you,
Bwit-Knee

30 Letters in 30 Days: Day 14 - Someone I've Drifted Away From

Dear Kyle,
I have quite a few guys friends and out of all of them I consider you to be one I'm closest with. You know everything about me from my health issues to my relationship issues. We went from hanging out with each other almost ever night just enjoying time together with out feeling pressured. Over the past few months we've drifted so far apart and it's sad. I miss my friend. I know I can't put the blame all on you. I am accepting my half of the reason why we've drifted. What's even more upsetting is that I'm not sure how we got to this point. There wasn't an argument. Neither one of us are boo'd up. We just stopped making an effort to see and talk to each other. I know that if I were to see you or talk to you on the phone it would be like nothing happened since that's the type of relationship we have. I just want my friend back. I miss taking care of your drunk behind when we go out. I miss yelling at you for riding your bike with out your helmet on. I just miss our friendship period.

Love,
Brit

30 Letters in 30 Days: Day 13 - Someone I Wish I Could Forgive

Dear Self,

I don't consider you a bad person by any means. I know you've done things in your past that you're not proud of that you've carried throughout the years. There's one instance that you can't seem to get over. It was 7th grade in Science class with a girl named Sharley Lloyd. Just thinking about it makes me angry. I can't believe you tortured that girl about the warts on her hands to the point you made her run out of the room crying. How dare you pick on someone and their insecurities that didn't deserve it. I feel horrible that you hurt her feelings so bad she didn't come to school or at least that class again for a little while. I'm sure somewhere you're on her hit list for making her middle school years a living hell. I don't know why she was your target or why you even felt that you were above her to pick her apart daily. You were one of the smallest kids in 7th grade, but had an attitude of a giant. I know you've tried to find her to send an apology for what you did to her those 3 years, but it's time to forgive yourself. Stop carrying it on your shoulders. Eventually one day you will have the chance to run into her hopefully and she will accept your apology. Who knows, for all you know she doesn't even remember who you are.

Letting go,
Britnie

30 Letters in 30 Days: Day 12 - The Person I Hate Most/Caused Ae a lot of Pain

Dear persons name who shall not be spoken of,

I will not use the word hate. I feel that the word hate is one of the strongest emotions you can feel towards someone. I can tell you that you have caused me a lot of pain. I trusted you with everything. Not only were you my best friend, but I considered you to be a sister. I moved you into my apartment when you needed a place to stay because your living situation wasn't working for you. I gave you access to everything I had and how do you go and repay me .... by backstabbing me. How dare you go behind my back and do what you did. You really must be a miserable person to act like my best friend to my face but behind my back make sure you sabotage things in my life because of your jealousy. Just because someone is doing better than you are doesn't mean you ruin things for them so you can be on top. You are nonexistent to me and I know you know this from the few times we've ran into each other. Just know that everything that you thought you ruined for me ended up working out. I got the last laugh. My word of advice to you is, prepare yourself for karma because when it comes back to you for everything you did to me its going to be horrible. I never wish bad upon anyone no matter what the situation. You just made your bed so I hope you enjoy laying in it *smiles*

Made it out on top,
Britnie

30 letters in 30 Days: Day 11 - A Deceased Person I Wish I Could Talk to

Dear Nana,

It's been a little over 3 years since you passed and it still feels like it was yesterday. I wish I could just have one more day with you eating ice cream in your big bed while telling you about everything that has changed. I feel like the cancer came and took you over night, which it pretty much did. I was so angry for the longest at you for giving up on your fight that I refused to go visit your grave site. It took me a little while to realize that it was just my selfishness making me think that you gave up. I know you were in so much pain those three months. I'm sorry for being mad at you for leaving. Nanny misses you like crazy. Every time I talk to her she brings you up as if you were still alive. I think its because shes not ready to let go. She tells me all the time, "I'm her mother. She was supposed to bury me. Not the other way around". We all miss you very much. I know you're watching over me pain free now. thank you for everything you did for me.

I love you and miss you
Britnie

30 Letters in 30 Days: Day 10 - Someone I Don't Talk to as Much as I'd Like

Dear Bea Bea,

We go way back. So far back I can't even remember when we became friends. Through out these years we've been through so much together and individually. I was there for the two roughest times in your life. You were there for me at my roughest times which I am enternally greaful for. I know we go through these periods where we won't talk for weeks, sometimes months but as soon as one of us needs the other we are there for each other. That's a true friendship to me. I wish life didn't get in the way and we were able to talk to more. Just know that I value our friendship in ways I know you will only understand. Thank you for always being there for me to listen and never judging me. If you ever need anything I'm just a phone call away.

Love you,
Britnie

30 Letters in 30 Days: Day 9 - Someone I Wish I Could Meet

Dear Whitney Port,

I know out of all the people I could choose to meet you're probably thinking why me? We sharing a passion, fashion. I admire that you are my age and have your own clothing line. You tend to remind me of myself being the "nice" girl that everyone seems to think that they can walk all over. I live for the day I will see my name on a label of clothing. When I get discouraged I think about how young you are and how far you made it. Although you were given the advantage of being on two reality shows to help your career get a boost I still know that there was a struggle to get where you are. It's nice to see someone young and deserving accomplish their dreams. Good things do happen to good people. Thank you for inspiring me to never give up on my passion.

Wishfully thinking,
Britnie

30 Letters in 30 Days: Day 8 - Favorite Internet Friend

Dear Favorite Internet Friend,

I wouldn't necessarily consider you a friend because I don't use the word friend losely. I know that sounds mean on so many levels, but how do you call someone a friend whom you've never met officially. Let's just say you're my favorite internet person. *big smile* I'm not one of those people who raves about these self proclaimed MC's, but you my dear have talent. I've told you I truly believe in your craft. If I didn't I wouldn't support what you do. I know with out a doubt you are going to go far with your talent. I'm sad to see you go due to my own selfish ways. I know you're going to make it and I would love to see our city on the map because of you. I wish you best of luck with your move, your future & most importantly your dreams. Good things happen to those who truly work hard for what they want and deserve. Just know you have a supporter in me.

"Little do they know the tricks up my sleeve" - Allen York

PS. I still want my signed copy before you move. No, seriously, I want my copy....NOW!

To hear Mr. York's work go here: http://bln.kr/-McAllenYork/

To see the trailer to his up and coming mix tape go here: http://vimeo.com/14229027

Twitter: @McAllenYork

True Supporter,BK

30 Letters in 30 Days: Day 6 - A Stranger

Dear Stranger.

You introduced yourself to me as Chris at Chili's. Supposedly you and your buddies were trying to recruit me to vote for the Debary political parties. Not sure if that was your entire intentions, but I'll just go with that. I was waiting for Chauncey and Erik W. to show up and meet me for some drinks. Well they were planning on drinking. I was planning on getting strawberry lemonade wasted. Moving on, besides what your real intentions were or weren't I greatly appreciate the outcome of the conversation. Thank you for the information you were able to produce for me. You have no idea the struggle I've had with the Saxon location we discussed. You have quite possibly opened up the door for me with one conversation that I've been working on for months. Thank you for taking the time not only to ask me questions about what I do but you and your friends took the time to ask Chauncey and Erik about what they do. On top of it you took all of our information, which by the way I hope you can use for future events. Chauncey could write every one's speeches. He's an amazing writer! (I hope you checked out his blog...BFF plug) Erik is hilarious, so I really hope you plan on using him for the event you were telling him about. Needless to say, you are the 1st "stranger" that I've met and didn't just have "small" talk with. It was productive and interesting, "napkin networking" and all.

Crossing my fingers,
Britnie

30 Letters in 30 Days Day 5 - Dreams

Dear dreams,

Here I am again, hi! I know we have this love hate relationship. I'm back and forth, all in, half way in, changing my mind completely ... I'm all over the place when it comes to you. I guess it's the price you pay having an artistic mind set. Thank you for never turning your back on me when I gave up multiple times. I know I was supposed to follow you from the beginning, but can you blame me?! The opportunities that came my way were once in a lifetime. I apologize for not keeping my end of the deal and following through. These past few months I've actually over exceeded a few of you. Soon, I'll reach the rest of you. Without you my life would be .... well, much less interesting.

see you soon,

Britnie

30 Letters in 30 Days Day 4 - Dear Siblings

Gary, Sophia, Isabella & Madison:

My babies, my life ... I don't think you guys realize how much and what you mean to me. I live my life on a daily basis for you guys! Everything I do is for ya'll. When I work, it's to make money to take you guys places & buy you whatever you want. When I'm rushing home, it's so I can see your smiles when I walk in the door and hear about how your day went. I would give my last breath to any of you in a heart beat if you needed it.
Gary ... I love the way you make me laugh till I cry even on my worst days. You have the kindest heart in anyone that I've ever met. I couldn't have asked for a better little big brother!
Sophia ... my sweet little Sophia, you remind me so much of myself when I was your age. Very emotional, mature for your age and shy. I love the way you have that "motherly instinct" already...reminds me of myself now.
Isabella .... baby girl! My outgoing kind hearted Isa. I love how you run up to me and hug me as soon as I walk in the door and make sure you give me a kiss before bed. You always know how to make me smile.
Madison ... my wild child. You run circles around me and I wouldn't change it for anything. I love my million hugs and kisses I get from you whenever I see you. You're such a bright little girl with one of the best personalities.
I love all 4 of you more than you will ever know. I will always be here for anything you need. I am so appreciative of the bond we all share and look forward to the future memories we will create.

Love you guys,

Sissy

30 Letters in 30 Days Day 3 - Dear Parents

Dear Mom & Dad,

I could sit here and write for hours the things I would like to say to the both of you, but I won't, I'll keep it simple. I can honestly say that I am truly happy that I have two people in my life that turned a situation that could have been bad into something positive. Thank you for being responsible teenagers when I was born. You could have gave me up for adoption or pawned me off on family members and you didn't. You both stepped up to the plate and went from teenagers to adults over night. Not only did you take responsibility for your actions but you did an amazing job at instilling morals in me. I don't want to toot my own horn but toot toot .... I turned out A-ok if I do say so myself. I have beliefs in me that some adults still struggle to have. Above all thank you for teaching me how to respect myself as a woman. I can only hope and pay that when I become a parent that I am able to pass what you both taught me to my children. If I am half as amazing as the both of you are, I'll be happy. Thank you for always believing in me no matter how crazy my ideas were. I love you both with every fiber of my being.

Love always,

Britnie

30 Letters in 30 Days Day 1 - Best Friend

Dear Best Friend,

I can remember it like it was yesterday. I walked in home economics in 7th grade and randomly picked a chair to sit in. Little did I know, but the seat I picked just so happened to be the one right next to my future best friend. I think the only time we spoke to each other in that class was one time about our curly hair. After that class it would be another few years before we would connect again. Our freshman summer was the beginning of a friendship that I cherish deeply. We spent literally every day together that summer. From laying out on the trampoline covering ourselves with butter so we would tan "faster" (what were we thinking), to hiding Ellie and Candido in your closet, taking basketball shorts from every one of our guy friends houses that we went to .... the memories are endless. Then one of the worst days of my life happened ... you moved away to Maine. I felt like half of me was ripped away. I cried every night for weeks. Although I feel like you live a million miles away from me I just want to thank you for being there for me no matter the distance. I know that I can rely on you more than I can on friends I have that live 10 minutes away from me. I've never had a TRUE female friend that didn't turn on me except for you. I know I tell you these things after our heart to hearts where we're crying our eyes out to each other but I just want to you know that I would do anything for you and that I value our friendship and everything that you have done and will do for me. Thank you for being there for me through all these great memories we have created. But I thank you the most for being there for me through my worst times. I love you like a sister and wouldn't trade our friendship for anything. I love you!

Love always and for ever,

your Bwit-knee

30 Letters in 30 days

So, the BFF, Mr. Chauncey Balsom (yes CB I just said your government. Be glad I didn't throw in your horrid middle name) brought this "30 letters in 30 days" to my attention. At first, reading through the list my reaction was, "nope not doing it! Too many of those days will go to the same person and I don't know if I want to open up those memories". After thinking about it for a few days I figured eh, why not?! It'll give me a chance to have my voice heard and hopefully give people a better idea of what I've gone through. On that note, I would like to dedicate these next 30 days to you CB, to show my support for what you do and what you plan of doing in your life with writing.

Hearts,
Your biggest fan BK

The break down for the next 30 days is as follows:

Day 1 - Your Best Friend
Day 2 - Your Crush
Day 3 - Your Parents
Day 4 - Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 - Your Dreams
Day 6 - A Stranger
Day 7 - Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 - Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 - Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 - Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like
Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 - The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 -Someone you wish you could forgive
Day 14 - Someone you've drifted away from
Day 15 - The person you miss the most
Day 16 - Someone that's not in your state/country
Day 17 - Someone from your childhood
Day 18 - The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 - Someone that pesters your mind - good or bad
Day 20 - The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 - Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 - The last person you kissed
Day 24 - The personthat gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 - The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 - The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 - Someone that changed your life
Day 29 - The person that you want to tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 - Your reflection