30 Letters in 30 Days: Day 17 - Someone From My Childhood

junior year

Amanda,
My wild child! I'm sitting here trying to think exactly how far back we go. The furthest memory I have is when we were around 7 or 8 years old. I'm sure we go back further than that but neither one of us remember. I can't even imagine my childhood without you in it. We had great times. Sleep overs at my aunt's house playing pranks on the girls who fell asleep first to horse back riding at Denny and Dustin's, thorough out high school until now I can honestly say that you have been by my side through it all. Although now we talk every once in awhile you are one of the few people that when we do go a long period of time without seeing each other we pick right up where we left off. Thank you for all the laughs, tears and great memories that we created together. I wouldn't have wanted to share them with anyone else but you.

Love you always no matter what!
Britnie

30 Letters in 30 Days: Day 15 - The Person I Miss the Most

Jenn Jenn,
My beautiful best friend in the entire world ... oh how I miss you. I probably tell you this at least 5 times a week. I know you know how much I value our friendship and because of that it makes it so hard not to miss you since you're all the way in Maine. I just miss being able to have that one person that I fully trust by my side, physically. I told you before I feel like half of me was taken away when you moved. Over time the pain of missing you has become more manageable, but I still miss you like crazy. All the crazy times we were able to share together are just memories. Now we share our crazy times that we have apart from each other on our Sunday phone dates. We really need to try and make sure at least once a year either you come down here or I go up there. I can;t stand not being able to spend quality time with you to make more memories. I can;t wait until school is over for Cory so you guys can move down here and I can have my best friend/sister by my side again.

Missing you,
Bwit-Knee

30 Letters in 30 Days: Day 14 - Someone I've Drifted Away From

Dear Kyle,
I have quite a few guys friends and out of all of them I consider you to be one I'm closest with. You know everything about me from my health issues to my relationship issues. We went from hanging out with each other almost ever night just enjoying time together with out feeling pressured. Over the past few months we've drifted so far apart and it's sad. I miss my friend. I know I can't put the blame all on you. I am accepting my half of the reason why we've drifted. What's even more upsetting is that I'm not sure how we got to this point. There wasn't an argument. Neither one of us are boo'd up. We just stopped making an effort to see and talk to each other. I know that if I were to see you or talk to you on the phone it would be like nothing happened since that's the type of relationship we have. I just want my friend back. I miss taking care of your drunk behind when we go out. I miss yelling at you for riding your bike with out your helmet on. I just miss our friendship period.

Love,
Brit

30 Letters in 30 Days: Day 13 - Someone I Wish I Could Forgive

Dear Self,

I don't consider you a bad person by any means. I know you've done things in your past that you're not proud of that you've carried throughout the years. There's one instance that you can't seem to get over. It was 7th grade in Science class with a girl named Sharley Lloyd. Just thinking about it makes me angry. I can't believe you tortured that girl about the warts on her hands to the point you made her run out of the room crying. How dare you pick on someone and their insecurities that didn't deserve it. I feel horrible that you hurt her feelings so bad she didn't come to school or at least that class again for a little while. I'm sure somewhere you're on her hit list for making her middle school years a living hell. I don't know why she was your target or why you even felt that you were above her to pick her apart daily. You were one of the smallest kids in 7th grade, but had an attitude of a giant. I know you've tried to find her to send an apology for what you did to her those 3 years, but it's time to forgive yourself. Stop carrying it on your shoulders. Eventually one day you will have the chance to run into her hopefully and she will accept your apology. Who knows, for all you know she doesn't even remember who you are.

Letting go,
Britnie

30 Letters in 30 Days: Day 12 - The Person I Hate Most/Caused Ae a lot of Pain

Dear persons name who shall not be spoken of,

I will not use the word hate. I feel that the word hate is one of the strongest emotions you can feel towards someone. I can tell you that you have caused me a lot of pain. I trusted you with everything. Not only were you my best friend, but I considered you to be a sister. I moved you into my apartment when you needed a place to stay because your living situation wasn't working for you. I gave you access to everything I had and how do you go and repay me .... by backstabbing me. How dare you go behind my back and do what you did. You really must be a miserable person to act like my best friend to my face but behind my back make sure you sabotage things in my life because of your jealousy. Just because someone is doing better than you are doesn't mean you ruin things for them so you can be on top. You are nonexistent to me and I know you know this from the few times we've ran into each other. Just know that everything that you thought you ruined for me ended up working out. I got the last laugh. My word of advice to you is, prepare yourself for karma because when it comes back to you for everything you did to me its going to be horrible. I never wish bad upon anyone no matter what the situation. You just made your bed so I hope you enjoy laying in it *smiles*

Made it out on top,
Britnie

30 letters in 30 Days: Day 11 - A Deceased Person I Wish I Could Talk to

Dear Nana,

It's been a little over 3 years since you passed and it still feels like it was yesterday. I wish I could just have one more day with you eating ice cream in your big bed while telling you about everything that has changed. I feel like the cancer came and took you over night, which it pretty much did. I was so angry for the longest at you for giving up on your fight that I refused to go visit your grave site. It took me a little while to realize that it was just my selfishness making me think that you gave up. I know you were in so much pain those three months. I'm sorry for being mad at you for leaving. Nanny misses you like crazy. Every time I talk to her she brings you up as if you were still alive. I think its because shes not ready to let go. She tells me all the time, "I'm her mother. She was supposed to bury me. Not the other way around". We all miss you very much. I know you're watching over me pain free now. thank you for everything you did for me.

I love you and miss you
Britnie

30 Letters in 30 Days: Day 10 - Someone I Don't Talk to as Much as I'd Like

Dear Bea Bea,

We go way back. So far back I can't even remember when we became friends. Through out these years we've been through so much together and individually. I was there for the two roughest times in your life. You were there for me at my roughest times which I am enternally greaful for. I know we go through these periods where we won't talk for weeks, sometimes months but as soon as one of us needs the other we are there for each other. That's a true friendship to me. I wish life didn't get in the way and we were able to talk to more. Just know that I value our friendship in ways I know you will only understand. Thank you for always being there for me to listen and never judging me. If you ever need anything I'm just a phone call away.

Love you,
Britnie